Mission prep all'Italiana

You get the call - two years after applying to a roster and six months after indicating your availability for "immediate" deployment, you get your offer of appointment!

Next stop? Juba? Bangui? Goma? P-a-P? Bamako?

Guess again:  Brindisi, Italy

Yes, all new peace operations staff go "via" Brindisi for Civilian Pre-deployment Training, or CPT, at the UN Global Service Centre, which happens to be located in the up-and-coming Puglia region of Italy (a.k.a. “the heel of the boot”). Unfortunately, Brindisi is not the crowning jewel of the province (see, e.g., Lecce, Salento, Trani, Ostuni).

That said, Brindisi does have (1) a centro storico, or old town, smack on the Adriatic, (2) good food if you avoid the tourist traps, and (3) last shot shopping options before you head to Mogadishu.  Don't forget that Italy has seasons, so you will find few swimsuit or summer gear options in November or winter coats for Mazar-e-Sharif in June.

Along with the little boutiques in the centro storico (which may not exactly help with the practical requirements of mission life, but who am I to suggest you don't need those stiletto heels?), the shopping center Le Colonne has H&M, Zara, Benetton, Sisley, Bata, and ipercoop – an Italian supermarket. There is a city bus line running straight to the mall parking lot (ask at your hotel desk). Further out of town is the second shopping centre anchored by French hypermarket Auchan, which also has a Euronics for electronics and a Piazza Italia next door (think cheap Italian clothes – the 100% cotton polo shirts in a rainbow of solid colours at €6/each are one recommendation).

Pre-deployment shopping lists are very subjective, but as this is Jeffrey’s site, this is Jeffrey’s list (not to say suggestions aren’t welcome in the comments section):

Vape Herbal Salviette Antipuntura (mosquito repellent wipes)

Item Number One on the list - people ask where I get these every time I am deployed. They are brilliant mosquito repellent wipes – so no need to choke the entire dinner table with spray, or smear weird mosquito repellent cremes on yourself.  Passed the test in Guinea-Bissau, Mali, South Sudan, and Timor-Leste, as they should, given that despite the “herbal” moniker they contain DEET. Better cancer later than a terminal case of malaria today.  Also comes in a pump spray. Available at ipercoop.

Quarta coffee

From Lecce, this espresso is relatively inexpensive (under €3 a bag) and competes well with its higher priced Italian cousins such as Illy. If you are a real caffè aficionado pick up a Bialetti eletrikka (yes, it works will all voltages – my travel set is a permanent travel companion) or, if you will have a functional burner, grab a Bialetti mokka. Don’t forget your tazze e cucchiai.

Citronella candles.

Well, yeah. If you forgot yours, you can pick some up in Brindisi (in spring/summer) at ipercoop, Auchan, Leroy Merlin…

Borotalco dry powder deodorant (grey stick with green top).

Some people sweat like pigs, and if I were one of them, I might have found that this actually helps in sub-Saharan heat. Find the scent too baby-powderish generally (prefer smelling like the cologne of my own choosing), but in unrelenting heat surrounded by ‘the great unwashed’ this does the trick.

Decathlon – the French among you will know this store; if you are from Texas think Euro-style “Academy”. Located by Le Colonne, but no sidewalks so a strange walking experience. Some mission favorites:

• PowerBars (you never know when they may come in handy)
• €6 solid colour swim trunks
• New Feel sneakers – you buy the insole separately, the idea being that you can buy 2 or more exteriors and just change the insole. Anyhow, a pair of sneaks in funky colours will run you about €20 or €25 for the water resistant version – I recommend the latter, they are my mission go-to casual shoes.
• Microfibre towel – dries in minutes, and packs a lot smaller than regular towels. Not as pleasant after a shower as cotton, so my back-up.  

Before you get to Brindisi:

 

Load up on music/movies/TV series

Anything. Really, anything. After a month even the nasty sluttely Kardashians will be entertainment (or at least a reason to hate LA, or just fake boobs and total d#*%head guys). (Non US readers - no, people in The Flyover™ do not live like that - they may be uncouth, but really...)

Mrs. Whites Unstung Hero – Natural Spray AntiMosquito Eau de Cologne

This “Lemon Tea fragrance” is natural – no DEET - so won’t give you cancer. It actually smells like a nice unisex summer cologne and it passed the test in both Timor-Leste and Mali (I forgot to take it to South Sudan and hadn’t found it before Guinea-Bissau). Downside: you have to order it in advance (I get it from Roullier White in the UK) and it comes in a travel-unfriendly glass bottle.

Malin+Goetz Bug Spray

Found this in their boutique in Chelsea, and haven’t tried it out but if you are in NY pick some up – comes in a much more travel friendly plastic bottle than Mrs. Whites, and on-line reviews rate the two equally. Disclaimer: they weren’t testing it in a malaria zone.

Dominica Bay Rum – From the Commonwealth of Dominica, a nice tropical toner/cologne/splash for about $20. I get mine at Orvis, but it is available elsewhere too.

For container living:

Remember trying to make your cinderblock dorm room seem less inhospitable? Multiply that by a thousand and that is trying to sort your container out.

• Hot plate
• Pot, skillet (a pot with built in pasta strainer in the lid is golden)
• Cotton sheets and a light cotton blanket (e.g., Ikea’s cheap-as-chips FABRINA or INDIRA bedspreads, both 100% cotton, and both cheap enough to leave behind )
• Seat cushion for your folding metal chair
• Cheap flatware & dinnerware. Again, IKEA bottom of the line is great
• Kitchen towels & potholder
• Cheap tablecloth or placemats for your ugly UN-issue table/desk
• Anything to add a bit of colour to the white metal that is a container.
• Mosquito net for bed
• Coffee maker/hot pot
• Favourite spices or condiments (for me, Knorr chipotle cubes and Zataar)

Juba - capital of the 193rd member of the UN

How to describe Africa's - and the world's - newest capital? Rapidly growing, chaotic, with only a handful of asphalted roads, it has a long way to grow. Nonetheless, you are here, so you have to buy groceries or get some dinner.

SHOP
If you are hoping there are some undiscovered shopping treasures to be found, you may be disappointed. The 'souvenir shops' are tables outside the New Sudan hotel/Le Bistro complex, but basically everything is from Kenya.

VaMP
Depending on which of their two signs you look at, VaMP either stands for Vegetables and Meat Products or Vegetable Meat Pharmacy (no idea why that needs an "a"). Regardless, this "supermarket" has yogurt, Mulino Bianco products, Italian and US dry goods (lots of Divella products from Bari in Puglia), wine, and CHEESE! (After a few months you won't care that it is US$20 for a tiny bit of parmesan. Trust us.) The only of the three markets where you can trust them to charge you the price marked on the product. Takes US$.

JIT
Indian "supermarket" with two locations. Originally known for having better prices that VaMP or Phenicia, but that is no longer really true. Both of JIT's locations are bigger than VaMP or Phenicia. Larger (if not better) selection of wines and liquors than VaMP. Like Phenicia, has a "housing goods section" that sells things like refrigerators for interracial underage gay couples.

Phenicia (sic)
Lebanese run (you would never guess from the name) "supermarket". No alcohol, but good butcher. Watch at check-out; had to correct the instantaneous mark-ups several times (one was a 50% markup over the price stated on the shelf).

BEST OF JUBA DINING

Notos
Modified Greek and Indian food, along with post-conflict pizzas. Pleasant outdoor dining courtyard and the indoor lounge area feels like a break from juba for a g&t, whisky soda, or Tusker while waiting for a table, or instead of dinner. Definitely a top spot in Juba. (Random factoid: the owner is white South Sudanese of Greek descent.)

Le Bistro
@ New Sudan Hotel garden
Hamburgers, pizza, wifi @ 10ssp/30min, FRESH iced tea, iced lattes, fresh juices and more brought to you by the Lebanese/Milanese co-owners. FTV, footie, and music on the screens, no alcohol, the best croissant croissants and cakes in Juba. During lunch or on long weekend "mornings" watch the newbie NGO girls eating salads while trying to dodge older men and concurrently smoozing to get on the good side of donors, not to mention the oh so obvious State Deparment and affiliated contractors in pleated khakis and dresses that have apparently been in storage for a decade or more (can you still buy those things in The Fly-over™?). Best staff in Juba by far. Burger 40SSP, chickenburger 35SSP, cakes 15-20SSP, cookies 5SSP. Open until 10, but more of a lunch spot.

Spice & Herbs
Indian, fairly nice garden area (except for the generators).
Istanbul
This place is a hidden surprise buried in Konyo Konyo (so offlimits after 8 pm) but they have excellent meat, kebabs, and mezze. Turkish owned and run so very authentic. Cater as much to a South Sudanese as an expat crowd, which means prices are great. Ambience not so great - far too much polyester and hideous plastic flowers, but the first taste and you won't notice. Does a daily lunch delivery run to UN House.

Nimule
Off "Lakes Street" heading towards "Cougar Avenue"
Pool and restaurant in this container and fixed build hotel where George Clooney passed thru on some humanitarian tour. 30SSP breakfast buffet (great except fot the instant coffee aspect, and the fact it ends around 10:30 a.m. Dinner buffet Wednesday through Saturday with African, Ethiopian, Thai and Tandoori rotating on the buffet - 65 ssp, 19-22h. Also Indian, pizza, and random post-conflict international menu.

You are outside, the tablecloth is crisp, white, and a bottle of chilled wine is sitting just at the center.  The sounds of castellano  surround you, mixed with French and English accented Spanish - other languages dance in your ears from more distant tables.  A saxophone adds its melody to the cacaphony of the evening.  The wine confuses the senses, is this Zona Rosa, ¿Dónde estoy? Où suis-je? Onde estou?  Ah, another Friday in Bissau at TaMar. 

Varela - pizza and the beach

About 4 hours from Bissau on the seafront border with Senegal is the charming beach village of only decent get-away from Bissau that requires neither a boat nor a passport.  Do not be fooled, Varela is, for all intents and purposes, a shabby village that is not on the beach but actually a couple of kilometres inland.  It has exactly nothing to do, nowhere to go, except for (1) the beach and (2) Chez Helene, run by you guessed it, Helene Fatima, and her Italian husband.  Which is a major reason to come here.

The rooms are, well, a half-step above camping.  The guests are all people you work with in Bissau.  But the pizza crust is - actually real pizza crust.  Done in a wood-burning oven (as much due to necessity as to a tradionalist approach to baking), the fresh bread in the morning and the pizza for lunch/dinner are the best in the country - and this from someone who lives in Italy (They also have seafood, which was nowhere nearly as good as at "the Senegalese" in Bissau).  Oh, and their pasta is cooked al dente.  But still, have the pizza.  And who cares if your shower was cold. 

PS - say hi to the cows on the beach. 

Rubane - as good as it gets in GB

Just a few hours by boat from Bissau, just across from the island of Bubaque in the heart of the Bijagos Archipelago sits the island of Rubane.  So what, you say?  Were it not for Solange that might be the appropriate question, but as it stands she has brought more stars to accomodation in Guinea-Bissau than you would think possible.  The Ponta Anchaca is an oasis hidden away from the rest of the country - one wonders if many of the guest actually know where they are, given that she brings in most via Senegal (she has years of experience as a hotelier running  La Maison Bleue in Cap Skirring, Senegal).  For the fishers among you, this is your destination.  For the Francophones, you too will be pleased.  Gourmands will be pleased at some meals (the langouste is wonderful, the poulet roti stunning mediocre).  Technophobes, you may be the happiest of all - there is no internet access and spotty mobile coverage.

The bungalows are the most comfortable accomodation in the country, although the prices reflect that.  Be warned of the low tides, however, when your stunning waterfront view becomes a scene of some 1/2 kilometre of mudflats between you and the water.  Beautiful, yes Rubane is.  One of our favorite beaches?  Not by a long shot (Sunja, Playa Blanca in Islas del Rosario, Parque Tayrona, Johnny Cay, Lokrum, the Cyclades, Maratea, Porto Selvaggio... need we continue?)

That said, if you are in need of a boost of luxe, & can't make the flight to connect through Lisbon, this is your best (only?) option.

Hotel Lodge Ponta Anchaca
Ile de Rubane
Archipel des Bijagos
Tel (Senegal) +221 33 993 5161
lamaisonbleue@orange.sn

Guinea-Bissau

Located in west Africa between Senegal and Guinea-Conakry, this sliver of a country ranks way down the UNDP Human Development Index, and has basically no infrastructure to speak of.  On the upside, the population of around 1.5 million is generally friendly, and the outlying beaches are largely unspoilt (which means no people and no facilities, with the exception of the oasis that is Rubane).

One difficulty is that English is less than helpful; French is the most useful foreign language, and it isn't so useful either.  Portuguese is really the only thing that you can use to be understood, with a few exceptions at some (not all) restaurants.  Pick up a Portuguese phrasebook before arriving; you won't find one for sale here.  You can, however, get lessons if you are going to be here for a time - Check with Portuguese Cooperation, who, unsurprisingly, have a rather large presence.

The international community is, not surprisingly, primarily Lusophone, with Spaniards and French pulling in at second and third it would seem.  Along with the UN integrated mission, the EU - particularly Portugal - is rather visible, along with the embassies of Brazil and Angola.  Although not really present on the social scene, China is a big player, having built the new Parliament and stadium and currently building the new government building on the way to the airport (the style of all three is unmistakably free-gift-of-the-Chinese-Government).

Along with your cotton and/or linen clothing, make sure you bring a small flashlight to carry after dusk, as there are few lights and a number of "obstacles" including uncovered manholes, seriously unmaintained roads that were last paved when it was still a colony, and sidewalks that make the ones in Bogota look level.  Also, make sure you get your cholera vaccination (not to mention yellow fever and all the rest).

If you have any particular high-end personal goods you favor, bring those as well.  You can of course find soap, shampoo, etc. in the "supermarkets" but there is not a huge variety, Garnier is about at up-market as it gets, and the prices can approach twice what you pay in Europe (as all of it is imported - even the water).  Drink the bottled water.  Always.

Guinea-Bissau: Bissau city

This sprawling capital of some 300,000 inhabitants is located on what you may have perceived to be the Atlantic when you looked at the map, but is actually a relatively unattractive river delta.  In other words, not a beachfront town.  With infrastructure not being one of Bissau's selling points, don't expect too much in the way of paved roads (only a handful), or streetlights after dusk.  What it does have are several surprises in the dining sphere - assuming the food is more important than the setting.  With everything being close, getting around is not too much of a problem, although the Editor was repeatedly told (in the same sentence often) "Bissau is very safe," and "Don't walk around after dark."  Hmmmm - I'll let your security office be the final judge of safety - not my sphere of expertise.

Restaurants

O Bistro
+245 320 600
"The Bistro" is one of Bissau's hidden surprises.  This small Belgian restaurant and bar, with its apparently random location a few blocks behind the Cathedral, is possibly the most pleasantly designed restaurant in Bissau (think colonial-era chic, complete with small veranda on which to prendre une verre.  Given that the Belgian owner - a 23 year resident of Guinea-Bissau - is also in the construction business, the above average design should come as a given.  The pizza is consistently referred to as the best in Bissau, although having just arrived from Italy, the Editor was unable to concur (the pizza at Chez Helene in Varela is significantly better).  However, the fish and other dishes  are solid, and they have Chimay ale and a few other Belgian brews. All in all, a very pleasant spot for dinner or drinks.  Closed Sunday.

Oporto
+245 662 2417
Popular Portuguese restaurant across from the entrance to the Hotel Coimbra (not the restaurant entrance).  It lacks charm (it is a big covered cement terrace with a big flatscreen TV), but the food is ok, and it is a big draw for watching football (soccer) matches.  Decent steaks, and the chocos grelhados (grilled enormous squid) are recommended.  Better than average espresso (for Bissau). Free wifi. Closed Monday.

Coimbra
Entrance just to the side of the Cathedral at the back of the hotel to which it belongs, Coimbra offers a 7500 CFA international buffet (pasta, salads, and a fish, meat and vegetarian selection) wht includes (not unlimited) Portuguese table wine.  Try not to fill up before you remember they have the best desserts in town. 

Chez Ami
"The Senegalese place" or "the tiger prawn place" is a welcome surprise. What appears to be a screened-in ramshackle shack set off the street behind another building will not impress you upon arrival.  However, the grilled bica (sea bream) and the tiger prawns are absolutely amazing.  Also, the grilled beef kebabs and the chicken cafriela are also worth ordering.  Also, the plats du jour run around 3000CFA and are generally quite good, particularly Tuesday's Thiebou diene.  On the drinks side, the bisap (a sweet cold rosehip tea) and the Senegalese beer Gazelle are both good finds.  On the street parallel to A Padeira and Ponto de Encontro and one block towards the UN/away from the main road running to the airport.  (look for the Orange mobile logo).   

Ta Mar
Located in the old Portuguese quarter, TaMar is most popular on Friday evenings, when there is live jazz/African fusion.  The bica (sea bream) or linguado (sole) are both ok, although the anorexic chicken is a miss. Pretty decent caipirinhas as well, to be enjoyed whilst listening to music as you sit at a table literally plunked down in the middle of the deserted street. 


A Padeira Africana

Slow and rather pricey for Bissau (you can run up a US$20/person lunch quickly), this place is still recommended for its daily lunch specials (CFA5000, except the larger Sunday plate at CFA8000).  For after lunch coffee, however, go next door to Ponto de Encontro as A.P.A has some of the worst brew ever tasted.   

Cafes, etc.

Ponto de Encontro
just off Rua Rui Djassi at the back of old stadium
Cafe and snack bar, "the meeting point" offers decent espresso (do NOT order the capuccino however), and a few ok sandwiches and other minors plates as well as post-conflict omelettes (you know what we mean).  Convenient to the UN building and even more convenient for some of those from Portuguese Cooperation.   

Dias i Dias
Praca dos Herois Nacionais
This Portuguese cafe and pastry shop will become one of your main stops, even if it does offer a view of the bombed out Presidential palace across the rather desolate Plaza of National Heroes (what is that monument?).  Decent cafe lattes, espresso, Portuguese pastries and breads, and pretty good ice cream (the limon is recommended).  Avoid it from 3-5, as the sun beats down on the patio unmercifully at that time. 

Centre culturel Franco Bissau Guineen
Praca Che Guevara
Aside from the expected cours de francais, the Centre culturel has a quiet cafe tucked back off the street with decent espressos and the sounds of French replacing those of Portuguese.  For those who find themselves more francophone than lusophone, this might be your peaceful retreat after the day. 

Baiana
Praca Che Guevara
With the colorful terrace, Latin music, and the grilled chicken, it could be a nice place, which is why it pains me to suggest this is not a place you should go - the one and only weekend evening the editor visited there were over 14 "professional" women very prominently seated - they seriously outnumbered other guests (johns?).  Highly likely this place would (or should) be on the "ban" list for many a mission.  If looking to avoid the appearance of impropriety, you might wish to take your business elsewhere.    

Hotels/Accomodation
The three most central hotels in the city are all very close to each other, and in fact two have the same owner.  Coimbra is definitely the nicest (and priced accordingly), with Ancar a second and its sister Sol Mar (located on a different side of the same block) pulling in at third.  The Bissau Palace, on the way towards the airport near the offices of the BCEAO, is perhaps in some ways nicer, but also surreal (by way of example, it is - according to its PR - built in the former Parliament building). 

Coimbra
Av. Amicar Cabral (just to the left when facing the Cathedral)
+245 213 467
The poshest of the downtown hotels, popular with the EU and some UN staff, the Coimbra has also has the city's only spa, and prices to match.

Hotal Ancar
Av. Osvaldo Vieira 10
+245 320 7633
Mostly consistent water and power (only 2 nights without water in 6 weeks here), with clean new rooms (save the bathrooms - not so new), A/C, friendly staff and a decent (cold) breakfast buffet.  The Sol Mar has the same owners as the Ancar (and same website), and although a bit more dated than its sibling it costs a bit less.  Both have wifi, electricity, and water (usually). 

Miscellaneous

Pharmacie Salvador
This francophone pharmacy is located on the main street running from the ANP (Parliament) to the main Plaza of National Heroes just before the old stadium.